Saturday, 20 December 2008

Time Flies

Life in the fast lane:  
It has been one of those weeks, ten days actually since I last had time to blog. Life seems to have run away with me again and I have not managed to do half of the things on my wish list. On a good note the blood and the feeling has finally returned to my left foot, it no longer feels like I am walking on a wooden stump, this Christmas bonus has arrived early; it may just be possible I will be Jiving whilst stuffing the turkey on Christmas Day after all...

Last Tuesday saw me walking around work (my part time job) in the full garb as a Green and Black witch, (from that well known chocolate pantomime by Dawn French), for our murder mystery evening at Sway Manor.  We were ready for it, but was it ready for us I ask? Jennie, the payroll queen, managed to show off her ability to raise her leg vertical to her torso, which did raise an eyebrow or two from other diners, especially as she was still sitting at the table at the time and the waiter didn't quite know where to place her turkey, piggies in blankets and stuffing.  Four of the ER team went as Christmas Elves (from the other well know pantomime called 'Elf and Safety'), which just left Dracula (from the other pantomime whose name escapes me at the moment) and bringing up the rear were Hook, Prince Charming, Principle Boy, Peter Pan and Dick Whittington.  

I shall make no apologies for the stream of seasonal puns which may well follow, but it was a spellbinding night full of magic, mystery and hilarity.  My sides haven't ached as much from the peels of laughter, since my week in Devon in October on the Arvon Cookery Writing course, with none other than Tamasin Day-Lewis (sister of the infamous allegedly text dumping Daniel) the divine and lovely Orlando Murrin, along with my other foodie fancy fanatics.    

It is just possible that the organiser of this panto murder mystery event is now a gibbering mess banished to recovery at the Priory or locked away in an alpine Swiss clinic for his own safety, not to mention the safety of future gaggles of Murder mystery pundits.

But a most embarrassing thing happened to me on the way to the forum. I want to share this with you despite the fact that I may live to regret it as it rears it ugly head when I am rich and famous, but there is a seasonal message of goodwill attached... 

I misplaced my bra.  In the rush of getting ready in unfamiliar surroundings, I placed my clean bra, I thought, on the basin counter or it might have been on the hanger of my long dress, but somewhere in between work and the boot of my car it has gone walkabout.  You can imagine the hilarity as I phoned in to our facilities department next day to find out if anyone had handed it in.  When the laughter subsided enough to make the recipient of my call coherent, the uses for a lost bra are apparently endless, to date they are; a novel way of carrying your melons home from the supermarket; a medieval dual slingshot waiting to be hurled at other seasonal shoppers in an attempt to clear a path to checkout; ear muffs; support for one of the male cleaner's man boobs; an airline hammock for a newborn twins; dual nests for twin buzzards; a brake chute for the next speed trial car, the list is endless and will no doubt go on to haunt me for the rest of 2009, other suggestions on a postcard please.

My point is? When time is short we rush, we do daft things.  Misplacing one's bra is one of them, after all it is not as if it is a small matter. Furthermore, I have an awful vision of returning to work on Monday to find my twin cups have been suspended as an additional decorative embellishment on the Company Christmas tree, which is sited in the main foyer.  In addition, swinging from one of the straps will be an enormous tag, with big red festive letters scribed across it saying "Rosie's lost property".   

And the moral of this post?  Take some time out amongst all the mayhem and madness, treat yourself to a bit of 'you' time.  Indulge in some downtime.  Heed this warning which is born from my own painful experience.  

Monday will come and Monday will go, even though I am already bracing myself, no doubt there will be emails, puns, questions to answer.  Maybe I will keep them guessing as to how it could have ended up in the car park, or maybe my bra has gone to the place where bras go to die.  Who knows?  It may even appear in a Nativity coming to you, keep a sharp eye out as Mary enters on her donkey stage right, if you see a pannier swinging over the donkey's back it may well belong to a broad on the edge!!
Ho, ho, ho... 

1 comment:

Kristen In London said...

Oh Foxi Rosie, I did laugh myself silly to read this! Carrying melons... man boobs... you DO have the talent to make us forget ourselves and simply laugh, as much as we did in Devon over your "self-help" reading in the barn... what a memory. Love to you: no posting from me for a bit as I survive re-entry into American holiday life, but soon! Happy Christmas, my darling.